It wasn't that bad.

The 80's themed wedding was pretty enjoyable, actually. I discovered that even though I look like a chubby nine-year-old in a leotard, there's something very freeing about being in essentially a swimsuit when everyone else around you is fully dressed. There's absolutely no room for posing. Your ass is hanging out, you gotta own it. The girls from the Robert Palmer "Addicted to Love" video, George Michael a la "Faith", and the white guy channeling Michael Jackson were real highlights. I suspect my off-the-cuff maid of honor speech was not. I closed with: "May you have all the time in the world to do justice to all the love in your hearts." Seriously. It was almost as inspired as the time I pleaded explosive diahrrea to get out of a social engagement.